dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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