Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
