But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
