You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
