I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
