Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
