i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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