Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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