Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
