he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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