So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
