I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
