So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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