When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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