I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
