you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
