Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
