dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I wish i was in the wii world.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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