I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
