Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
