I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We named our party play list daddy issues
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
