We're like a lot better than the average bears
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This is my gift to your gina
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
