Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
