I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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