She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
