wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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