remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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