And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
