What did we do last night that was yellow?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
