Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
