It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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