Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
