why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
