this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
