I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
