I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
