Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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