He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I wear drunk well.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
