Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
