I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
