I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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