I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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