is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
