k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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