I want to walk on stilts...naked
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
