found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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