she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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