how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
