If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
