id be glad to
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
